Unexpected Catharsis

So, over the past week I’ve started to get myself organised again. Finally!!

It’s weird how life seems to go through peeks and troughs of nonsense that allow / prevent you doing stuff that you enjoy. Weird, and frustrating as hell! I guess much of the issue is the fact that a wonderful home life centred around two young children is rarely stable or predictable.

However, at the moment, there is a lull, so I can actually think. And as ever, when I think, I write . . .

At the moment, my thoughts have been taken up with an amazing ps3 game called Heavy Rain. The last week has been a bit of a blur of moral decisions, drama and ultimately, (unfortunately), absolute frustration.

Heavy Rain is the kind of game that I would normally overlook. Not my usual outlet at all. It’s a kind of interactive drama –like watching a movie, but being able to influence its course. The game follows the story of the Origami Killer, a serial killer stalking an American city, taking children and drowning them in rainwater.

You take the role of a number of the lead characters, making decisions on their behalves and carrying out a range of actions for them. These actions can be the most mundane of tasks, like setting a table, playing with your kids etc, or life and death scenarios such as fighting off a crazed drug dealer. This though, I think is the essence of what makes this game so good and so playable. Carrying out all the simple actions, opening doors, making an omelette, taking a shower. All of these actions help you ‘form’ the characters’ personalities yourself, giving you a real sense of attachment to them.

As well as all these simple actions, there are decisions to be made along the way. What to look at, who to talk to, what about, what to do based on a conversation etc. These decisions will all directly influence how the game ends and with that comes a real sense of responsibility. There have been several times this week when I have been paralysed be indecision due to moral dilemmas. Can I hurt myself to save my child – of course. Can I hurt someone else to save my child? Could I kill someone? These moral decisions are made all the more real by having kids myself and to be honest, some of them were quite uncomfortable to think about.
I also found myself becoming really attached to characters, and at one point, after a reckless decision I ended up killing one of them – I felt a genuine guilt and not a little anger for letting her down – stupid I know, but the game really draws you in.

So who is the Origami killer? Well, (and this is the absolutely infuriatingly frustrating part!!) the game has bugs – major bugs. I was probably ¾ the way through, hot on the heels of the killer, desperately sad that I’d let down one of the main characters, leading her into a fatal situation, and I came to load the game for the evening’s play – nothing! The game save was corrupt! I was absolutely furious, frustrated, incensed! I was so cross that I wouldn’t get to discover the identity of the killer; to find out if my other characters made it; to find out if I could get my son back alive. I checked some forums and found that this is a common problem. There are a lot of frustrated people out there – just like me. For me though, this amazingly wasn’t an absolute game-breaker. I felt so involved with the scenarios in the game and the characters, that despite this major flaw, I still love this game.

So, do I spend another £6 at blockbuster tonight to rent it for another week . . . of course I do. I’ve become so involved with the characters and the plot; I need to get to the end. I need to find the origami killer and save Shaun . . .